"

Sure do hope station management steps it up here! We’re all friends, after all! Looking at you in the booth, there, Daniel!

Aww, listeners, Daniel is blushing! He is very, very red. You have a lot of blood, Daniel!

Listeners, I really mean that. Daniel looks to have a lot of blood.

"

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
11Apr14reblog
"It’s really nice when you have the support of your management. I mean, let’s be honest. No job is perfect, and relationships between bosses and employees aren’t always friendly. You’re going to have disagreements, of course, little disputes – sometimes big disputes, enormous ones – but you get over those things. You forgive and forget, only to retract both, and be filled with vindictive rage and unrelenting memories of the pain brought upon you. Such are the difficulties of professional life."

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
10Apr14reblog
"

So, if you like delicious cookies, come on up to the station!

I already bought all these cookies with my own money, but I told Janice I would donate back all the proceeds from selling these boxes. So, it’s kind of an extra gift to the Girl Scouts of Night Vale.

Several listeners and coworkers have bought cookies, but no one from station management yet.

"

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
09Apr14reblog
"Oh, hey! Janice’s Girl Scout cookies have really been moving! The guys in Sales just came by and bought some classic shortbread cookies. The guys were all wearing matching suits and wool hats, and they threw the boxes of cookies back and forth to each other while shouting “Hup!” and “Catch!” and “Look alive, Sean!” as they jogged back to their cubicles. All of the guys in Sales are named Sean."

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
08Apr14reblog
"

Oh, here’s something nice, though! Khoshekh spent his whole life floating four feet off the ground at a fixed point in the mens’ bathroom here at our station. He never moved from there until he was attacked. I hate to think much about the pain he’s been in while healing from broken bones and severe lacerations, but…listeners, I got to hold Khoshekh for the first time last week. I got to pick him up, hug him, carry him around my home.

Carlos is allergic to cats. But I bought him some Claratin, so he’ll be fine while Khoshekh heals.

Thanks for all your concerns, dear listeners. It’s wonderful to have him back.

"

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
07Apr14reblog
"

Many of you have written in asking about our station cat, Khoshekh. He was attacked by an animal that our stupid, that our evil, that our station management let in the building for some careless reason.

Well, Khoshekh is on the mend. He lost his right eye, his legs are healing, but he’s missing part of his front left paw, and will walk with a limp. He’s at the vet today to have the feeding tube removed. It’s fine.

He is fine.

"

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
06Apr14reblog
"

Anyway. Listeners, these cookies are delicious. And I had to buy a lot of them. There is barely any room here in the studio, or in my producer Daniel’s booth. So, buy some cookies! Please, help us. It is difficult to move, actually.

Sorry, I am not a good salesman.

"

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
05Apr14reblog
"I know people normally order the cookies first, and then get them delivered weeks later, but sometimes a mother goes out of town, and the stepfather isn’t on top of his stepdaughter’s extracurricular activities, and then the child doesn’t know how to sell cookies on her own, so the kindly uncle, with a busy radio job, has to step in and buy up a bunch of boxes, so she can go camping with her friends while you continue to disappoint everyone with your inattention to detail, and sports gambling, and idiotic taste in shoes, Steve Carlsberg! Yes, Steve, this is how things sometimes happen."

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
04Apr14reblog
"

I am not a good salesman.

That being said, I have Girl Scout cookies! Please, if you want some, come on up to the station! My niece, Janice, joined the Girl Scouts last year, and I have box upon box of Caramel deLites, Thin Mints, and those, uh, lemon ones. There are also quite a few of these new cookies, in very heavy, unmarked, black boxes that I think are made entirely of metal.

And there’s one box that’s a five-foot-by-five-foot wooden crate, with air holes cut into the top, and Peanut Butter Patties scrawled on it in permanent marker. I can hear breathing inside.

"

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
03Apr14reblog
"

I am not a good salesman.

This is why I am a radio host, listeners. Because while I like to talk to people, a real people person, it says in Russian at the bottom of my college degree, I don’t like to shape a conversation toward buying and selling. I like to tell people stories, stories that affect them, allowing my listeners to process the stories in their own unique ways. I don’t want to directly tell them how to think.

"

Welcome to Night Vale

Episode 44 - Cookies

 
02Apr14reblog